Recognizing the Signs of a Toxic Work Environment and Building a Healthier Workplace

The Hidden Dangers of Toxic Work Environments

Truthfully, most Managers Shouldn’t Be Managers at all.

News Flash: Most managers are BAD managers. Yes, you read that right. And here’s the kicker – it’s not entirely their fault. Let me break it down for you.

Corporate America has a long-standing love affair with promoting high performers. On paper, it sounds great, right? Reward the go-getters, the achievers, the ones who make things happen. But here’s the million-dollar question: Why on earth would you want a narcissistic brown-noser in charge of people? No, not all top performers are bad managers but what if instead of naturally promoting high performers to management they are required to take a personality test to decide if they are capable of managing others?

Think about it for a hot second. More often than not, these “high performers” are just better at playing the game. Now, I’m not saying it’s always the case, but let me tell you, I’ve been in the corporate jungle since college, and 9 out of 10 managers I’ve had were about as effective as a chocolate teapot.

Why? Because being a high performer DOES NOT mean you have the ability to lead! It’s like expecting a star quarterback to automatically be a great coach. Different skillset, folks! In this guide we will discuss the how to escape a toxic work environment and recognizing the signs of a toxic work environment.

Signs of a Toxic Work Environment: Being a high performer does not equate to a good manager!

Looking back over my career, I can count on one hand (with fingers to spare) the number of managers who actually embodied the leadership traits you’d want in a team captain. Two. That’s it. Two out of countless managers over the years. Houston, we have a problem.

Signs of a Toxic Work Environment:

• No sense of autonomy – do they feel the need to be included on everything making you feel like a child?
• Blaming you for someone else’s mistakes or better yet, his own?
• Are you required to work overtime while everyone else is free to leave?
• Cutting you down in front of others
• Going around you or completely cutting you out of projects or assignments
• Making inappropriate comments about your personality or “personal brand”
• Talking negatively about you to others
• While you were always a top performer, now under his management, you are not meeting expectations

The issue isn’t that high performers shouldn’t be rewarded. By all means, shower them with bonuses, fancy titles, corner offices – whatever floats their boat. But why does that have to translate into managing others? It’s high time corporate culture had a reality check.

It shouldn’t be the default setting to promote someone to a manager position just because they’ve been following the corporate yellow brick road. You know the drill: analyst, analyst 1, analyst 2, team lead, senior, manager… Lather, rinse, repeat. But does it make sense? About as much as using a sledgehammer to crack a nut.

It’s a problem, and one that HR should be chomping at the bit to change. But as we all know, change in the corporate world moves at the speed of a sloth on sedatives. So, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t see this ship turning around anytime soon.

And here’s another thing that grinds my gears – why should you be financially penalized because you don’t want to be a manager? It’s this broken record mentality that the only way to grow or be successful is if you become a manager. Excuse me? Managing others is like herding cats while juggling flaming torches. It’s HARD. You need empathy, listening skills, and the ability to put others’ needs ahead of your own. And let’s face it, most people do not possess these qualities.

So, why am I on this soapbox? Because this broken system is leading to a tsunami of mental health issues. We’re talking burnout, exhaustion, anxiety, depression, and a whole lot more. It’s turning the workplace into a psychological minefield.

Let me give you a taste of my personal hell:

I once had a manager who thought public humiliation was a motivational tactic. He’d call me out in front of the whole department, just to see me squirm. When I mustered up the courage to tell him it made me uncomfortable, he had the audacity to say it was my fault for not being prepared. Oh, and guess what? I was the only one he treated like his personal punching bag.

Or how about this gem:

In a meeting, I dared to ask a clarifying question to a peer. Instead of letting my colleague respond, my manager interrupted like a game show buzzer, telling me to zip it. Apparently, questions were only allowed if they didn’t come from my mouth.

This same charming individual, after a whopping three weeks of working together, told me he didn’t like my “brand” (whatever that means), that I had a cloud hanging over my head, and – cherry on top – that no one else liked me. Can you imagine being in my shoes? I felt like I was taking looney pills!

When I brought this up to my VP, hoping for a lifeline, you know what she said? “While I agree these are not appropriate things to say, he’s won over the higher-ups, so you need to just suck it up or switch departments.” I was gobsmacked. It was like complaining about a bully to a teacher, only to be told, “Well, the principal likes him, so deal with it.”

So, this particular manager might be a “high performer” in someone’s book, but in reality, he was just better at playing the corporate game of thrones. And let me say it louder for the people in the back: Being a “high performer” DOES NOT equate to being a good manager!

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, let’s dive into the nitty-gritty. What are the telltale signs of a toxic manager? Buckle up, because this ride is about to get bumpy…

Key Signs of a Toxic Manager

Micromanagement and constant criticism Example: Your manager insists on approving every email you send, even routine responses, and frequently critiques your word choice.

Inconsistent or unclear expectations Example: One week, your manager praises your project approach; the next week, they berate you for doing the exact same thing, claiming they never approved it.

Taking credit for your work Example: You spend weeks preparing a presentation, but in the meeting, your manager presents it as their own work without acknowledging your contribution.

Favoritism or unfair treatment Example: Your coworker consistently misses deadlines without consequences, while you’re reprimanded for being five minutes late to a meeting.

Lack of support or recognition Example: You successfully complete a challenging project, but your manager only focuses on minor issues and never acknowledges your overall achievement.

Blame-shifting and avoiding responsibility Example: When a project fails, your manager blames the team’s “lack of effort,” despite having ignored repeated requests for necessary resources.

Emotional instability or frequent outbursts Example: Your manager yells at you in front of colleagues for a minor mistake, then acts as if nothing happened in the next meeting.

Discouraging growth or professional development Example: When you express interest in a training program, your manager dismisses it, saying, “You’re not ready for that level yet,” without providing a path to get there.

Excessive control over your time and tasks Example: Your manager requires you to account for every minute of your workday and questions your bathroom breaks.

Disregard for work-life balance Example: Your manager regularly calls or texts you late at night and on weekends, expecting immediate responses to non-urgent matters.

Gaslighting Example: When you bring up a conversation from last week about project deadlines, your manager insists it never happened and suggests you’re “imagining things” or “being too sensitive.”

Here is a really great article on toxic managers if you need more confirmation.

The Impact of a Toxic Work Environment

Working in a toxic environment can be:

• Soul-crushing and demeaning
• Detrimental to your mental health
• Physically aging due to chronic stress
• Emotionally draining, taking the light out of you
• Damaging to your self-esteem and confidence

Remember: Your worth is not defined by a toxic workplace. The impact you’re experiencing is a reflection of the environment, not your value or abilities.

What To Do:

1. Document Everything – Privately and Legally
   • Keep a detailed, private record of all incidents, conversations, and interactions.
   • Use personal devices or accounts to store this information, not work-provided ones.
   • Consider recording conversations in states with one-party consent laws (see below).
2. Know Your Recording Rights States allowing one-party consent recording (as of 2024):
   • Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, District of Columbia, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming
   Free recording apps (availability may vary):
   • Voice Recorder (Android)
   • Voice Memos (iOS)
   • Rev Voice Recorder (iOS & Android)
   • Easy Voice Recorder (Android)
   Always check the most current laws and app policies before recording.
3. Seek Transfer or Exit
   • Try to transfer to a different manager within the company if possible.
   • If transfer isn’t an option, prioritize finding a new job and exiting the toxic environment.
   • Remember: It’s okay to leave for your own wellbeing. You don’t owe loyalty to a toxic workplace.
4. Build a Support Network – Outside the Company
   • Connect with mentors or professional networks outside your company.
   • Join industry forums or support groups for advice and emotional support.
   • Seek therapy or counseling to process your experiences and maintain mental health.
5. Protect Your Mental Health
   • Prioritize self-care and stress-management techniques.
   • Set firm boundaries between work and personal life.
   • Practice mindfulness or meditation to manage stress.
   • Remember that your health and wellbeing are more important than any job.
6. Prepare for Exit – Quietly and Strategically
   • Update your resume and LinkedIn profile discreetly.
   • Start job searching before the situation worsens.
   • Build an emergency fund if possible.
   • Secure copies of your work and accomplishments (if legal and ethical).
7. Know Your Rights
   • Research labor laws and company policies on your own time.
   • Consult with an employment lawyer confidentially if you suspect illegal practices.
   • Understand your options for unemployment benefits or legal action.

What Not To Do:

1. Don’t Suffer in Silence
   • Avoid enduring the toxic environment without taking action.
   • Recognize that hoping things will improve on their own rarely works.
2. Don’t Overshare with Colleagues
   • Be cautious about discussing your concerns or plans within the company.
   • Remember that in toxic environments, trust can be misplaced.
3. Don’t Rely Solely on HR
   • Be cautious about assuming HR will prioritize your interests over the company’s.
   • Consider HR interactions as potentially part of the problem, not the solution.
4. Avoid Public Complaints
   • Refrain from venting frustrations on social media or public forums.
   • Be cautious about written complaints that could be used against you.
5. Don’t Neglect Your Performance
   • Maintain your work quality to avoid giving the company justification for dismissal.
   • However, don’t overwork yourself at the expense of your health or job search.
6. Avoid Retaliatory Actions
   • Resist the urge to “get even” or sabotage work, no matter how justified it might feel.
   • Maintain professionalism to protect your reputation and future opportunities.

Support and Recovery

1. Seek Professional Help: Consider therapy or counseling to process your experiences and rebuild your confidence.
2. Join Support Groups: Look for groups (online or in-person) for individuals who’ve experienced workplace toxicity.
3. Practice Self-Compassion: Remember that the toxic environment is not a reflection of your worth or abilities.
4. Focus on Healing: Once you’ve left, take time to recover emotionally and professionally before jumping into a new role if possible.
5. Learn from the Experience: Use this to refine your values and what you need in a healthy workplace.

Your Sanity is Non-Negotiable

Choosing Mental Health Over Toxic Workplaces

Look, I get it. We’ve all got bills to pay, dreams to chase, and maybe a crippling addiction to overpriced coffee to support. But here’s the cold, hard truth that we need to tattoo on our foreheads: Your mental health is worth more than any paycheck.

Let that sink in for a moment. Read it again if you need to. I’ll wait.

Throughout this post, we’ve dissected the anatomy of toxic managers like a high school biology class gone rogue. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, and we’ve probably had a few flashbacks that made us want to hide under our desks. But now it’s time for the grand finale, the pièce de résistance, the call to action that’s going to change your life – or at least make you think twice about that passive-aggressive email you were about to send.

Don’t be a punching bag!

Here’s the deal: You are not a punching bag, and you are not a fall guy (or gal). Managers with a grudge are not your problem. These emotionally stunted managers, who peaked in high school are looking for people to fall to their knees and kiss the ground they walk on. You are a human being with dreams, talents, and a right to work in an environment that doesn’t make you want to scream into a pillow every night.

“But what about my career?” I hear you cry. Well, let me ask you this: What good is a stellar career if you’re too burnt out to enjoy it? If you’re sacrificing your mental health on the altar of corporate success, you’re not winning – you’re slowly losing yourself. At the end of the day, you are just a number to these people. Remember that.

Remember that toxic manager who made your life a living hell? The one who criticized your every move, gaslit you into doubting your own sanity, and had the emotional intelligence of a potato? They’re not the hero of this story or a compelling villain. They’re just a cautionary tale of what happens when the wrong people are given power.

So, what’s the solution? It’s simple, but it’s not easy:

1. Value yourself: Your worth isn’t determined by your job title or your manager’s opinion. You are inherently valuable, full stop.
2. Set boundaries: “No” is a complete sentence. Use it liberally when faced with unreasonable demands or disrespect.
3. Seek support: Whether it’s therapy, a support group, or a friend who’s always ready with a listening ear and a bottle of wine, don’t go through this alone.
4. Know when to walk away: Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is leave a toxic situation. It’s not giving up; it’s choosing yourself.
5. Be the change: If you do become a manager, break the cycle. Be the leader you wish you’d had.

Conclusion

And.. last but not least, remember, staying in a toxic work environment isn’t resilience; it’s self-harm with a LinkedIn profile. You wouldn’t stay in a relationship with someone who constantly belittled you and made you feel worthless, so why accept it from your job?

Your mental health is not a luxury item to be addressed once you’ve “made it.” It’s the foundation upon which you build everything else. Protect it fiercely. Nurture it constantly. Prioritize it unapologetically.

In the grand tapestry of life, your job is just one thread. Don’t let it be the one that unravels everything else. You deserve to work in an environment that challenges you to grow, not one that challenges your will to live.

What is your next step?

So, the next time you find yourself in a toxic work situation, asking yourself, “Should I stay or should I go?”, channel your inner Magic 8 Ball and hear it say: “All signs point to valuing yourself and getting the hell out of there.”

Because at the end of the day, you’re not just an employee. You’re a whole person with a life outside of work, dreams beyond your current job, and a right to peace of mind. Don’t let anyone – especially not a bad manager – make you forget that.

Now, go forth and conquer, you magnificent, underappreciated, soon-to-be-ex employee of Toxic Inc. Your mental health, and your future self, will thank you.

Remember: The best career move you can make is the one that moves you towards happiness and fulfillment. Everything else is just a job.

If you want to check out my other post on Toxic Work Environments, click here!